"Words"

Instead of rambling nonsense I thought I would share some lyrics with you from a reworked and recently finished song called 'Kisses'.

I'm not the most literate of people as you can probably tell from previous blog posts but I do work hard at them and im usually proud/happy with the results.

Anyway see what you think, the subject matter is not as macabre as you may think.

Kisses.

As we enter the darkest hours of the day,
The black pavement how it shifts and sways,
Bad luck sent swooping deep to the fields,
And the howling wind, it pricks our ears.

A brooding shadow they've tampered with the light shades,
The cats they giggle, I conceive they've misbehaved,
Fighting the instinct to reverse and make sharp haste,
Keep a lid on it, keep a lid on it were moving with the brave.

Its the end of the battle and the night has won,
Too many times do we rely on the sun?
Oh your focus how it shifts to the moon,
And the fountain of sharp rain it breaks in to tune,

Embrace the cool clean air, it kisses your neck I swear
Embrace the cool clean air, it kisses your neck I swear
Embrace the cool clean air, it kisses your neck I swear
Embrace the cool clean air, it kisses your neck I swear

As we enter the darkest hours of the day,
Oh you pray for dawn and its safe to say,
That your focus it shifts to the moon,
And the end of the nightmare is upon you soon.

Regards

Mr Rice x

...ML...

**Pay Back**

A gull giving it the old - 'Wat dah lookin at?'



This weekend I spent a couple of splendid days in Scarborough, a little seaside town in North Yorkshire, the aim of the trip was to visit my two little brothers who were holidaying there. The good weather and masses of arcades ensured a good time was had by all and brought back fond memories of previous trips to the seaside. But whilst exploring these memories I stumbled upon somewhat lesser enjoyable memory which renewed my disdain for a certain species of bird - The Seagull.

I hate seagulls, not for there cock sure swagger which I am actually jelous of but because of a scenario that unfolded 10 years plus ago. I was on my annual St Ives holiday trip with my grand parents, auntie, cousin and my wind up specialist uncle whose sole purpose of the holiday was to get me going, he actually still speaks of the story I am going to tell you.

Im on the beach, its red hot and ive been playing footie for god knows how long and decide I need a rest and an ice cream. I trot off to the ice cream man to pick up a white magnum, which incidently is the god of ice creams. Anyway, i pay my money and head back to our spot on the beach, once there i slowly remove the wrapper and carefully take my first bite into the icecream trying desperately to only remove the white choclate thus leaving the ice cream until last. (Other ice cream lovers may be familier with this strange ritual) So ive completed stage one of the magnum eating manual and im about to move to phase two when rather disturbingly my ice cream disapears!! No need to panic I think, there can be only one culprit, uncle rob the wind up merchant, but upon turning to face him i become very puzzled, yes he's sporting that famous grin but he has nothing in his hands, in fact nobody has anything in there hands, including me. It so transpires that the opertunist beast which is the Seagull had swooped down and stolen my barely touched £1 ice cream out of my very hands, the worse part of it was I couldnt do a bleeding thing about it!!

Ive never forgiven the race of seagulls from that moment and would like to bring a recent news paper article to your attention...

The metro has reported of a Energy Saving wind turbine which is attached to Southwell Community School in Protland, Dorset. The turbine is 30ft high, cost £20k, rotates at 135mph and more importantly has killed 14 seagulls in the past 6 months. The school was told by manufacturers that there could be one fatality a year but it seams this wind turbine has developed a thirst. The turbine has since been switched off and they are looking to get rid. With this in mind I am encouraging people to donate any spare cash they have to my wind turbine fund so I can restart the blades.

Keep smilling.

Mr Rice.

...ML...

Dropping a......Clanger

So you work hard to gain the respectable post of Lord Mayor in your beloved town. This brings many perks, a chain that 50 cent would be jealous of, nice robe, daft hat and nice little cushy day job. Yeah you might have to attend the odd meeting and shake a few hands but life as Lord Mayor is pretty much plain sailing.

Well it is unless your name is Colin Hall, Lord Mayor of 'Hey-day-Emile Heskey land' - Leicester. Yesterday poor old Colin had the tedious task of attending the Global Education function at Southfields library, after being subjected to a couple hours of verbal tosh about education Mr Hall then got to his feet to give a vote of thanks. It was at this precise moment that Colin's trousers came loose and plunged to his ankle's, Nicholas Bendtner stylee. Bad times. To make things worse the whole library was full of school children, Mr Hall must have been bricking it at the thought of the headlines, thank god for killer foxes!!

A spokesman for Mr Hall has since said: "The lord mayor has offered his deepest apologies to those attending the event for any offence caused by the accident."

Mr Hall has blamed two important factors, him having no belt and that he is currently aiming to lose 3 stone by walking to civic events.

I think that this was actually a failed attempt to try and get down with the kids by emulating the fashion traits of rap stars such as Eminem, 2pac and Biggie.

Keep smiling.

Mr Rice. x

...ML...